Lover's Quarrel (Part 2)

Posted on Fri Feb 11th, 2022 @ 12:22am by Captain Gary Alexander

1,756 words; about a 9 minute read

Mission: Mission 3 - A Whole New World
Location: Gary's Quarters
Timeline: 2168/08/15 1815

[OLD]

"Oh?" KAT said, suddenly wondering if she had misread the whole situation and felt oddly silly. "What might that be?" The professional demeanor slammed down like a blast door and she waited, fork still held in her hand mid-bite.

The air in the room suddenly felt heavy and thick. Watching KAT's professional demeanor come back was disheartening and the weight on Gary's chest felt much heavier. "I know you did not approve of me making McNier the XO. I can read you better than anyone, KAT. And I don't often take you by surprise. I appreciate you not saying anything in front of the crew. But here, KAT, here you can tell me what you really think."

[NEW]

"What I really think?" KAT began, and set her fork slowly back down on the plate. Her shoulders heaved upwards slowly and then she let them sink as though weighing all of the options of this moment. As though each thought flicking through her mind had literal mass and she was pondering if unburdening was a safe step... or if it might be one too far.

"I think..." She searched for some semblance of tactful manner in which to phrase it... perhaps it was the wine on an empty stomach, or the stresses from the last few days but what came out was a mass of verbal diarrhea. "... the man is a bit..." Her hand connected with the glass, and by some miracle of quantum physics no doubt she had managed to grab it and take another sip. "... odd."

She stopped, somewhat deflated. She had meant to be more forthright, but somehow it seemed... odd. She smirked inwardly and looked at the Captain helplessly, shrugging.

"Oh, come on, KAT, you can do better than that," Gary replied with a frown. "I want to hear your full opinions. Yes, McNeir is a very strange duck. Go on...."

She huffed and looked at him, squeezing her lips together. "It's as though he has a mental checklist of all the steps of being a Captain... of doing his job... of saying hello!" she spat out, exasperated. "And no way of deviating from such a thing. As though life and command was linear... as though it had order...."

KAT shook her head a little, partially to clear the wine a bit and partially to clear her thoughts. "Without exactness, it feels..." KAT shrugged a little self-consciously, drawing back a little. Opinions weren't substantiated facts. "I think he'd be lost, Sir." Or needing additional help... and that simply did NOT sit well with her. She was definitely not 3rd in command aboard the Horizon.

"You're not wrong," Gary answered with an apologetic shrug. "He's very exact. And, while I have those qualities of an engineer, being exact, he verbalizes them. His personal skills are lacking. He's built around rules and regulations. Do you see it now, KAT?" he asked with his eyes sparkling at her.

"You want someone who will follow your orders explicitly, and without deviating." KAT murmured softly. "Someone who is Starfleet when there really IS no Starfleet anymore."
She whispered even softer, almost as though she were afraid to voice it. "Not for us."

"Almost exactly right, KAT. We need someone to remind us of who we are, of Starfleet. The crew needs to see someone that is opposite to me in so many ways, to see that we still have a structure. And right now, this crew needs something to hold onto, especially with so much about to change." He got up from the table and took KAT's hands. "And I need you more than anything in the universe, KAT. I can't do it all alone and you've always been my greatest ally, confidante, and...." His eyes twinkled as his knowing, smirk returned.

"Your Yeoman," KAT replied.

"Much more than that. Always much more than that," he told her getting up and setting himself back in his chair. "But of course, saying that before now would have caused both of us much greater problems, even if some suspected...." He put his fork into the salad and shoved a huge forkful into his mouth to shut himself up.

KAT felt infinitely confused at this moment. "Much... more...?" The words trailed off more as a question than an acknowledgement.

Instead of continuing the thought, she picked up the fork and put it in her mouth, not even sitting before doing so. So much had happened, so much had... confused her. The other XO and his... pursuit... their getting lost in another whole part of the Galaxy... too fast. Too much.

Chewing was good. Something she could connect with now. Things felt a little like they were spiralling... but she held fast to the fork as an anchor, and let the food make its way downward without disruption.

Gary nodded, keeping his eyes firmly fixed on KAT as she chewed. He said nothing as he picked up his wine, took another sip, and then grabbed another forkful of his salad.

KAT slowly sat back down, placing her hand on the back of the chair, knuckles white with the strain. "Good salad," she said before constructing a bite with all of the elements in it as though it was a puzzle. She had no idea what to say, so she stopped speaking and focused on clearing her plate.
Whether it was hunger or simple avoidance, an outside observer might be the best one to ask in this case.

The silence between the two was stifling. Gary had so much he wanted to say but the words were not forming. When he saw that KAT finished her salad, he said, "Why don't we see what the chef has prepared for our main course?" He lifted the top and said, "Ah, Chicken Basquaise. This should be tasty. Hm. It seems the chef made one large plate. I shall have to serve you again." Somehow, that statement allowed Gary to dare a small flirtatious wink at KAT again.

When he spoke, KAT looked up reflexively. "Oh, of course," she said, the wisp of a smile touching her lips. "How perfectly lovely and... as long as you don't mind, Captain."
She blushed, cheeks lightly pink and watched him place the entrée on her plate focusing on his hands. Strong hands, capable and ones that had gotten them this far.

Gary's eyes narrowed at KAT when she called him Captain. "Now, Katrina, don't you start making me call you by your full name. Here, we're just two people who care about one another: KAT and Gary." He kissed her on the forehead before serving himself. "And if you need a spanking to reinforce it, I'm happy to oblige."

KAT's eyebrows shot up in surprise and she blinked twice. "I'll only require a spanking if I misbehave and, as we both know, GARY, "she emphasized theatrically, "I never do."

"Is that a fact?" he asked with a raised eyebrow. "Never?" He grinned harder.

"Never." She nodded once and looked at the food before her. "Do you trust your new XO with your ship, Gary?" she asked before taking a bite.

Gary's grin faded slightly upon asking that question. He had hoped that the topic had passed them both by. He did not want any more semblance of a quarrel. He wanted to engulf KAT and savor her. He wanted to forget all the pressures that he only held, though KAT shared somewhat. To enter that blissful state and forget..... He sighed. "I trust him to follow protocols. I trust you to be my conscience and the ship's, to get him to do the right thing, even if the book does not call for it."

KAT nodded, continuing to eat slowly. Placing her fork down, she looked directly at Gary. "Is this why you asked me to dinner?" She had arranged so many evenings, blocked time for the Captain and his... encounters... ordered the finest wines, sumptuous intimate dinners. She wondered if any of them had discussed ship's business. Perhaps she HAD misread it.

Perhaps KAT had misread every missed opportunity to see what was actually going on, but she had been hurt emotionally and certainly expected simply more of the same.

"One of many," he confessed. "Sometimes, I wonder how you put up with me. And perhaps I should give you more than I have. But after Adrina...." He dropped his fork and raised his hands helplessly with a, shy, weak, and apologetic smile. "And now, we're forever lost KAT. I have to be strong for everyone else. But for you...." He paused heavily with a deep breath. "I can just be."

KAT smiled outwardly, knowing that this was everything he could offer. His heart had been... obliterated... she knew how that felt. She didn't even know if she had a heart to share anymore after the pain of her... failed relationship? Failed... life? And this was enough. Her heart might heal one day, but for now, it felt enough.

"You give me what you have to give," KAT said softly. "To expect anything more would lead to nothing but disappointment." For either of us. Those words, she left unspoken.

This was uncomplicated for her. She knew where she stood, and knew that there would be always others. And she was ok with that. Until she wasn't... but that day, she felt, was a long way off.

He opened up his hands and stretched them across the table towards KAT. "I wish I could give more. I would love to.... I...." He ended with a sigh, knowing she understood. KAT would always be first in his life out here. But with other things such as genetic diversity being required and other crew looking to him for mental and physical comfort, how could he even risk it now?

She took both his hands and squeezed them in hers. He would love to give more. But she knew that this was not true. The man was a Captain. If he wanted to give more, he simply would. There wouldn't be a question or a need for such a qualifying statement. She meant a great deal to him, she knew. As his confidante. His Yeoman. And she cared for him as much as she was able. People were held at arm's length and there was nothing she could do about it either.

"There's at least another course," KAT poked playfully. "I'm still struggling through this one, but at least want to know what other extravagances have been created for dinner."

 

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